








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1018 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 671 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10013 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5887 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 10795 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 6188 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,817,584 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laxuz | 56% | 48 |
| #2 | Tristay!^^ | 53% | 157 |
| #3 | nowoit | 52% | 105 |
| #4 | ❥ Molly | 51% | 101 |
| #5 | Brooky | 50% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Kriggy | 50% | 117 |
| #8 | Lane | Klappar Skinkor | 49% | 57 |
| #9 | nibk | 49% | 641 |
| #10 | JC | 48% | 644 |
| #11 | Exile | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JC | 20 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | nibk | 17 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Pruneman | 15 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Kriggy | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Tristay!^^ | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JC | 1412 | 0.10 | 43 min |
| #2 | nibk | 1069 | 0.08 | 32 min |
| #3 | Pruneman | 715 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #4 | Tristay!^^ | 225 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | ❥ Molly | 173 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | laxuz | +6.99 | 98 | 50 |
| #2 | Brooky | +4.68 | 82 | 52 |
| #3 | nowoit | +3.39 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | nibk | +3.13 | 68 | 67 |
| #5 | Exile | +2.36 | 66 | 28 |





