








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2915 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2175 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2578 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2007 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,191 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sir Arthur Harris, 1st Baronet | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | TURBOPRINZ | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Egeland | 57% | 116 |
| #4 | Thai Ming | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | TԋҽRιɳG | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | t00kie | 41% | 34 |
| #14 | HarryHamster | 41% | 51 |
| #15 | ALF! | 41% | 22 |
| #16 | KungFuKalle | 39% | 23 |
| #17 | Akki | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ken0 | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | mOb | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | .teil | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Sir Arthur Harris, 1st Baronet | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Egeland | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hard | 224 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | mOb | 216 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | t00kie | 158 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Egeland | 148 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ken0 | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |





