








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2823 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3438 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1337 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2246 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,810 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x-pl0it | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Thai Ming | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Egeland | 51% | 90 |
| #4 | t00kie | 48% | 48 |
| #5 | Justluck8 | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | HarryHamster | 43% | 67 |
| #12 | lagwag y | 42% | 19 |
| #13 | TURBOPRINZ | 41% | 22 |
| #14 | Hard | 38% | 21 |
| #15 | ALF! | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ken0 | 12 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | TԋҽRιɳG | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | .teil | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Thai Ming | 3 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | t00kie | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t00kie | 264 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | MɅXIMVS MIKE | 213 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ken0 | 129 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Egeland | 117 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | .teil | 92 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lagwag y | +1.44 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | Ken0 | +1.12 | 56 | 65 |
| #3 | Egeland | +0.39 | 47 | 66 |
| #4 | mOb | +0.24 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | t00kie | -0.05 | 47 | 73 |





