








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3199 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4242 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2805 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2828 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,366 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thai Ming | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | KungFuKalle | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Bonobo Bill | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Egeland | 52% | 197 |
| #5 | ALF! | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #18 | Josh 未来 | 39% | 18 |
| #19 | mOb | 38% | 21 |
| #20 | TURBOPRINZ | 35% | 23 |
| #21 | t00kie | 35% | 26 |
| #22 | SaToX | 34% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egeland | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Sir Arthur Harris, 1st Baronet | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Ken0 | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | mOb | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | MɅXIMVS MIKE | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MɅXIMVS MIKE | 299 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Egeland | 219 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | t00kie | 114 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Big L | 70 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | mOb | 68 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lagwag y | +2.86 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | Josh 未来 | +2.67 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | Egeland | +1.84 | 46 | 70 |
| #4 | KungFuKalle | +1.41 | 46 | 55 |
| #5 | .teil | +1.24 | 47 | 68 |





