








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 468 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1968 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2667 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4194 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2737 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,274,540 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | KungFuKalle | 45% | 44 |
| #18 | Hard | 45% | 51 |
| #19 | Ken0 | 44% | 113 |
| #20 | Big L | 37% | 71 |
| #21 | BonkAs | 32% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egeland | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | HarryHamster | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Ken0 | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | .teil | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | BonkAs | 6 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egeland | 355 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | t00kie | 303 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Shady [A] | 201 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | lagwag y | 195 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | MɅXIMVS MIKE | 194 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lagwag y | +1.73 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | TURBOPRINZ | +1.56 | 58 | 64 |
| #3 | Josh 未来 | +1.10 | 62 | 63 |
| #4 | Shady [A] | +0.81 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | TԋҽRιɳG | +0.68 | 48 | 50 |





