










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3078 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2713 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2400 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2098 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,541 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 580 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | zCBN5zz | 50% | 28 |
| #6 | Psychopomp | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Pliski13 | 43% | 68 |
| #8 | jaspeЯ | 37% | 19 |
| #9 | NickH | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pliski13 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | zCBN5zz | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Ruski | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | jaspeЯ | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | pseudo | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pliski13 | 192 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | zCBN5zz | 158 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #3 | pseudo | 145 | 0.39 | 3 min |
| #4 | NickH | 100 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ruski | 75 | 0.22 | 2 min |





