








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4322 | 43% |
| Smokes | 2191 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1640 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1923 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $439,884 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thrice | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Rowdy | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | NickH | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | jaspeЯ | 53% | 83 |
| #5 | hanseN | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NickH | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | TJ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | jaspeЯ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Муха | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Pliski13 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pliski13 | 269 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | jaspeЯ | 244 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | NickH | 156 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | TJ | 130 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | thrice | 113 | 0.37 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hanseN | +5.28 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | NickH | +4.03 | 82 | 78 |
| #3 | thrice | +4.01 | 52 | 69 |
| #4 | TJ | +2.43 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | Pliski13 | +0.12 | 59 | 57 |





