








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,719 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4873 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3722 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2817 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2307 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $474,298 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 387 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squid♂Lider | 80% | 46 |
| #2 | rudeboy_jamaican | 78% | 55 |
| #3 | Korpse | 78% | 50 |
| #4 | Haaza | 67% | 46 |
| #5 | Tzone | 67% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ure suck a ball | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Muussaaja | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | rudeboy_jamaican | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Squid♂Lider | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | HAL 9000 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piiskaaja | 485 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | ure suck a ball | 266 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Muussaaja | 253 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | HAL 9000 | 182 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Korpse | 167 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piiskaaja | +3.49 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | Mohis | +3.04 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | Muussaaja | +1.85 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | HAL 9000 | +1.45 | 52 | 78 |
| #5 | Squid♂Lider | +0.97 | 52 | 41 |





