








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1389 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1969 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2151 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2027 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,370 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Splatmonkey14 | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | cur1ous | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | TheTinCan | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | apolloh | 55% | 91 |
| #5 | ricky | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cur1ous | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | apolloh | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Custer | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | TheTinCan | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ricky | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheTinCan | 223 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | apolloh | 218 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | cur1ous | 153 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | MBowers | 101 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Custer | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joove | +5.58 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | apolloh | +4.05 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | Way | +1.83 | 65 | 70 |
| #4 | Splatmonkey14 | +0.63 | 57 | 56 |
| #5 | cur1ous | +0.42 | 76 | 57 |





