








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 446 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6169 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6404 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6508 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4605 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,114 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c!nd3r | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | chris | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | Candyman | 52% | 33 |
| #4 | Storm | 50% | 78 |
| #5 | illusive | 49% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big ounce | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | D-bo | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | OranG | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | illusive | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | c!nd3r | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 419 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | big ounce | 264 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | OranG | 204 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Storm | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | illusive | 68 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | +1.49 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | big ounce | +1.27 | 52 | 61 |
| #3 | chris | +1.22 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | Candyman | +0.88 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | illusive | -0.14 | 52 | 53 |





