










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 398 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3249 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3963 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3470 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2873 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,233,009 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | TEMPORALIS | 49% | 129 |
| #11 | Sleepin.ponyo | 46% | 127 |
| #12 | Red Bull Ampol Racing | 45% | 40 |
| #13 | White Meat𐂃 | 45% | 58 |
| #14 | lucida | 44% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lucida | 18 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | 猎刚猪 | 17 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | TEMPORALIS | 16 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | White Meat𐂃 | 15 | 0.0135 |
| #5 | brooding in their castle | 10 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 猎刚猪 | 772 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | TEMPORALIS | 528 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | lucida | 425 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | meepupu | 364 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | White Meat𐂃 | 221 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEMPORALIS | +3.33 | 67 | 81 |
| #2 | White Meat𐂃 | +2.90 | 64 | 75 |
| #3 | yuqs | +2.78 | 63 | 78 |
| #4 | Faisal | +1.90 | 56 | 72 |
| #5 | gorf | +0.99 | 57 | 58 |





