








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1025 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2453 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2399 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2823 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,140,327 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tartaruga | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | houckha | 50% | 86 |
| #3 | LuGia | 47% | 214 |
| #4 | ouzo | 47% | 155 |
| #5 | HYS4B | 45% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [VGC] Foxiii | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | HYS4B | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ouzo | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ppedro de la paska | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | LuGia | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HYS4B | 622 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | ouzo | 530 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | ppedro de la paska | 339 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | LuGia | 327 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | [VGC] Foxiii | 274 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuGia | +2.02 | 50 | 60 |
| #2 | ppedro de la paska | +0.71 | 50 | 71 |
| #3 | [VGC] Foxiii | +0.51 | 43 | 65 |
| #4 | ouzo | -0.12 | 58 | 78 |
| #5 | houckha | -0.26 | 25 | 62 |





