








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2460 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1206 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1793 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 345 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,458 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (: | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | :mean1 | 45% | 40 |
| #3 | atre | 43% | 106 |
| #4 | intika | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | 〠 HEJFLICKA 〠 | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atre | 7 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atre | 235 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | :mean1 | 169 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | (: | 60 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bo-Lennart | 53 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #5 | wajk | 49 | 0.32 | 1 min |





