








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,958 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1354 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1429 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2058 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1117 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,754 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | porteavion | 51% | 161 |
| #2 | Mike | 51% | 87 |
| #3 | momo | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | Spr|ng | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | Rotak | 49% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mike | 51% | 87 |
| #3 | momo | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | Spr|ng | 50% | 82 |
| #5 | Rotak | 49% | 118 |
| #6 | Jonney | 45% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonney | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Rotak | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | porteavion | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Mike | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Spr|ng | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rotak | 381 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | porteavion | 243 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mike | 195 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jonney | 108 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | momo | 92 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | momo | +2.67 | 59 | 72 |
| #2 | Jonney | +1.54 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | Rotak | +0.63 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | kektemps⌛ | +0.54 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | porteavion | +0.24 | 60 | 55 |





