








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 481 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 337 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1987 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2296 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3947 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 2003 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,357,693 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 356 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | momo | 53% | 60 |
| #2 | kektemps⌛ | 51% | 161 |
| #3 | luvkill | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | PRiMUS | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Jonney | 50% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PRiMUS | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Jonney | 50% | 208 |
| #6 | Rotak | 47% | 159 |
| #7 | Mike | 47% | 137 |
| #8 | Spr|ng | 46% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonney | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Rotak | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | kektemps⌛ | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Mike | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | luvkill | 4 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rotak | 525 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | Mike | 335 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jonney | 187 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | momo | 177 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | kektemps⌛ | 165 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | momo | +1.24 | 59 | 71 |
| #2 | Jonney | +1.23 | 71 | 56 |
| #3 | kektemps⌛ | +0.77 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | Rotak | +0.31 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | PRiMUS | +0.26 | 63 | 61 |





