








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 793 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 126 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7609 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,445 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9165 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8505 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7103 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4672 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,734,730 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1521 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 51% | 132 |
| #2 | Jonney | 49% | 235 |
| #3 | kektemps⌛ | 49% | 118 |
| #4 | momo | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | porteavion | 47% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jonney | 49% | 235 |
| #3 | kektemps⌛ | 49% | 118 |
| #4 | momo | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | porteavion | 47% | 159 |
| #6 | Spr|ng | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonney | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | momo | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Mike | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | porteavion | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | kektemps⌛ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 291 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | porteavion | 244 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | momo | 212 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jonney | 194 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | kektemps⌛ | 108 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | momo | +1.62 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | Jonney | +1.17 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | Rotak | +0.29 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | porteavion | +0.12 | 58 | 54 |
| #5 | kektemps⌛ | +0.09 | 72 | 58 |





