








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 82 | 6% |
| Smokes | 494 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 519 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 265 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,317 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bully Maguire | 33% | 33 |
| #7 | k0tley | 32% | 37 |
| #8 | Snack_Pack | 29% | 7 |
| #9 | Default | 20% | 5 |
| #10 | KBX[29] | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bully Maguire | 7 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | k0tley | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Longstroker | 3 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0tley | 61 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Bully Maguire | 50 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Longstroker | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | wanGo | 14 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | +2.55 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | KBX[29] | +1.18 | 53 | 64 |
| #3 | Bully Maguire | +1.01 | 60 | 71 |
| #4 | Snack_Pack | +0.66 | 79 | 74 |
| #5 | wanGo | +0.57 | 66 | 48 |





