








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Faceit | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 47 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9149 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5703 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 10884 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 5115 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,151 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1937 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slappers | 50% | 119 |
| #2 | KBX[29] | 46% | 346 |
| #3 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | 44% | 94 |
| #4 | wanGo | 43% | 182 |
| #5 | patyoanton | 43% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Zicen | 43% | 65 |
| #7 | gLaab | 43% | 82 |
| #8 | Bully Maguire | 40% | 65 |
| #9 | lady_gLaab | 40% | 70 |
| #10 | Longstroker | 33% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KBX[29] | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | slappers | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Bully Maguire | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | wanGo | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | patyoanton | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KBX[29] | 419 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #2 | patyoanton | 306 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | 213 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | gLaab | 207 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | slappers | 197 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0tley | +3.66 | 63 | 58 |
| #2 | slappers | +2.54 | 59 | 48 |
| #3 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | +2.03 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | KBX[29] | +1.77 | 65 | 61 |
| #5 | gLaab | +1.19 | 50 | 75 |





