








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 259 | 20% |
| Smokes | 227 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 577 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 243 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $155,500 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Jeffwee Truberman | 40% | 15 |
| #2 | wanGo | 39% | 28 |
| #3 | Snack_Pack | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | TeePinG_TiLLeR | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | Default | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Bully Maguire | 29% | 21 |
| #9 | patyoanton | 27% | 11 |
| #10 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | 25% | 16 |
| #11 | gLaab | 0% | 3 |
| #12 | lady_gLaab | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bully Maguire | 4 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | k0tley | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | wanGo | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | patyoanton | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0tley | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Bully Maguire | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | patyoanton | 18 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Default | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KBX[29] | +3.63 | 72 | 59 |
| #2 | Bully Maguire | +1.73 | 58 | 72 |
| #3 | wanGo | +1.17 | 62 | 50 |
| #4 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | +0.96 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | k0tley | +0.90 | 63 | 70 |





