








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2362 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2065 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1418 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1447 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $816,257 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 77% | 47 |
| #2 | Noahh | 76% | 33 |
| #3 | Zephyr ^v^ | 71% | 58 |
| #4 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 70% | 81 |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | 61% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 77% | 47 |
| #2 | Noahh | 76% | 33 |
| #3 | Zephyr ^v^ | 71% | 58 |
| #4 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 70% | 81 |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | 61% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Chikhai Bardo | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Zephyr ^v^ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Noahh | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zephyr ^v^ | 153 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | 129 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Chikhai Bardo | 127 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Noahh | 77 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zephyr ^v^ | +3.44 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | Klippy | +1.72 | 82 | 46 |
| #3 | fmj16 ^v^ ☛☚ | +0.87 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | AlexHöbbes#SleepyBoi <3 | +0.78 | 58 | 62 |
| #5 | Chikhai Bardo | -0.35 | 72 | 43 |





