








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 858 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 929 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2290 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5716 | 51% |
| Molotovs | 2229 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,845,212 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1983 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Karmanized | 44% | 150 |
| #5 | have | 44% | 154 |
| #6 | {FGC}* skr | 43% | 247 |
| #7 | ZiPPy | 43% | 151 |
| #8 | apples. | 43% | 363 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apples. | 22 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | have | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Willow | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | {FGC}* skr | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | eides | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apples. | 704 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | Karmanized | 353 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Willow | 259 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | ZiPPy | 212 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | {FGC}* skr | 199 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | have | +3.64 | 80 | 52 |
| #2 | eides | +2.62 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | Karmanized | +2.36 | 43 | 67 |
| #4 | Willow | +2.31 | 55 | 68 |
| #5 | ZiPPy | +0.93 | 22 | 54 |





