








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 821 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1358 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 894 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 349 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,713 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swift | 50% | 32 |
| #2 | Nilski Konj | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | Sused | 44% | 124 |
| #4 | Augustus | 44% | 96 |
| #5 | dejak | 44% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Augustus | 44% | 96 |
| #5 | dejak | 44% | 144 |
| #6 | Ivica Todoric | 43% | 106 |
| #7 | Cereal | 26% | 19 |
| #8 | Wex | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Augustus | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | dejak | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Ivica Todoric | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Sused | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | swift | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dejak | 199 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Augustus | 158 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sused | 120 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ivica Todoric | 116 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nilski Konj | 62 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wex | +3.79 | 88 | 50 |
| #2 | dejak | +1.95 | 61 | 68 |
| #3 | Ivica Todoric | +0.87 | 70 | 61 |
| #4 | swift | -0.62 | 48 | 63 |
| #5 | Augustus | -1.01 | 30 | 54 |





