








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 727 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 625 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8805 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6788 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6018 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3308 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,811,927 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MooShu | 60% | 42 |
| #2 | Zyzzy | 54% | 178 |
| #3 | StarBoi | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | Young Dedushka | 51% | 98 |
| #5 | QwestaG | 50% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | QwestaG | 50% | 163 |
| #6 | kAppz | 48% | 71 |
| #7 | TheLastDon | 47% | 97 |
| #8 | Alive | 47% | 66 |
| #9 | Kelevra | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QwestaG | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Zyzzy | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | TheLastDon | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Young Dedushka | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | StarBoi | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QwestaG | 800 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | Zyzzy | 630 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | Young Dedushka | 379 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | TheLastDon | 370 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | StarBoi | 309 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyzzy | +3.27 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Young Dedushka | +1.64 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | StarBoi | +1.00 | 59 | 73 |
| #4 | meph | +0.25 | 56 | 58 |
| #5 | MooShu | -0.43 | 80 | 51 |





