








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 794 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11789 | 42% |
| Smokes | 8078 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5827 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2545 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,525,655 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meph | 54% | 178 |
| #2 | Young Dedushka | 52% | 339 |
| #3 | Alive | 50% | 307 |
| #4 | Mr|RED | 50% | 66 |
| #5 | Kelevra | 48% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Young Dedushka | 52% | 339 |
| #3 | Alive | 50% | 307 |
| #4 | Mr|RED | 50% | 66 |
| #5 | Kelevra | 48% | 92 |
| #6 | QwestaG | 46% | 281 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Dedushka | 16 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Alive | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | QwestaG | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Mr|RED | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | meph | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QwestaG | 1371 | 0.23 | 33 min |
| #2 | Alive | 1322 | 0.20 | 30 min |
| #3 | Young Dedushka | 1103 | 0.16 | 28 min |
| #4 | meph | 997 | 0.26 | 26 min |
| #5 | Mr|RED | 329 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyzzy | +2.67 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Young Dedushka | +1.30 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | Mr|RED | -0.44 | 64 | 59 |
| #4 | Alive | -0.57 | 67 | 70 |
| #5 | meph | -0.71 | 50 | 59 |





