








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2393 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3015 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1810 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2286 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,211 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PR3M4X | 55% | 115 |
| #2 | Der Edeldirne | 52% | 146 |
| #3 | Krizzel [òÓ] | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | ;. | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | BWonderchild | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PR3M4X | 55% | 115 |
| #2 | Der Edeldirne | 52% | 146 |
| #3 | Krizzel [òÓ] | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | ;. | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | BWonderchild | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der Edeldirne | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | PR3M4X | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | BWonderchild | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PR3M4X | 478 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Der Edeldirne | 394 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | Krizzel [òÓ] | 190 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | BWonderchild | 165 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | ;. | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BWonderchild | +0.81 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | Wumbo patrușapte | +0.59 | 70 | 59 |
| #3 | Der Edeldirne | +0.58 | 61 | 71 |
| #4 | ;. | +0.20 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | PR3M4X | -0.58 | 72 | 74 |





