








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,632 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1920 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2329 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2516 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1867 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $815,881 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StaN | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Superfresh | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Krizzel [òÓ] | 57% | 67 |
| #4 | PR3M4X | 53% | 167 |
| #5 | Der Edeldirne | 52% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Krizzel [òÓ] | 57% | 67 |
| #4 | PR3M4X | 53% | 167 |
| #5 | Der Edeldirne | 52% | 227 |
| #6 | ;. | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | Wumbo patrușapte | 47% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PR3M4X | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Der Edeldirne | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Wumbo patrușapte | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PR3M4X | 668 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | Der Edeldirne | 593 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #3 | Wumbo patrușapte | 213 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Krizzel [òÓ] | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | StaN | 50 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ;. | +1.93 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | BWonderchild | +0.90 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | Der Edeldirne | +0.20 | 64 | 71 |
| #4 | PR3M4X | +0.12 | 75 | 74 |
| #5 | Wumbo patrușapte | -0.42 | 68 | 54 |





