








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1347 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 351 matches | ||
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9635 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8580 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6102 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7385 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,562,448 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | draqe | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | spiN | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | +w | smu | 54% | 149 |
| #4 | ph17 | 54% | 69 |
| #5 | ☂ yush | 53% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | †jNs† | 48% | 111 |
| #16 | CruZ | 46% | 135 |
| #17 | Noname | 44% | 41 |
| #18 | krass?! CanTwo [!?] | 43% | 40 |
| #19 | Waschi | 40% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +w | smu | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | pza1ko | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | ☂ yush | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | PUMP•D•ルフィ | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | CruZ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂ yush | 1109 | 0.25 | 35 min |
| #2 | pza1ko | 715 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #3 | +w | smu | 680 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #4 | CruZ | 500 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #5 | PUMP•D•ルフィ | 477 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph17 | +1.75 | 69 | 66 |
| #2 | +w | smu | +1.35 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | draqe | +1.10 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | Charge | +1.00 | 63 | 77 |
| #5 | PENDRAGON | +0.90 | 53 | 75 |





