








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 275 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,401 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5864 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5389 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3103 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4045 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,520,681 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +w | smu | 57% | 165 |
| #2 | †jNs† | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | PENDRAGON | 53% | 203 |
| #4 | pza1ko | 53% | 306 |
| #5 | PUMP•D•ルフィ | 51% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | †jNs† | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | PENDRAGON | 53% | 203 |
| #4 | pza1ko | 53% | 306 |
| #5 | PUMP•D•ルフィ | 51% | 226 |
| #6 | Waschi | 48% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pza1ko | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | PUMP•D•ルフィ | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | PENDRAGON | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | +w | smu | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Waschi | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PENDRAGON | 853 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | +w | smu | 698 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #3 | PUMP•D•ルフィ | 663 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #4 | pza1ko | 586 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #5 | †jNs† | 154 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂ yush | +1.42 | 69 | 73 |
| #2 | +w | smu | +0.92 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | PUMP•D•ルフィ | +0.71 | 85 | 65 |
| #4 | Waschi | +0.35 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | PENDRAGON | -0.04 | 52 | 71 |





