








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 968 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 218 matches | ||
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6909 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5566 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2790 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4548 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,037,879 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 732 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twiffty | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | ☂ yush | 57% | 165 |
| #3 | PENDRAGON | 54% | 149 |
| #4 | PUMP•D•ルフィ | 54% | 132 |
| #5 | pza1ko | 54% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pza1ko | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | ☂ yush | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | PENDRAGON | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | PUMP•D•ルフィ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Waschi | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂ yush | 866 | 0.24 | 26 min |
| #2 | PENDRAGON | 670 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | pza1ko | 513 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | PUMP•D•ルフィ | 405 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #5 | Waschi | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |





