








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 877 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 539 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3931 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4820 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5634 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5954 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,257,215 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pza1ko | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | D0Niii | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | spiN | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | PENDRAGON | 51% | 115 |
| #5 | FoxSin KuzanOo | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CruZ | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | draqe | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Gigelicious | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | PENDRAGON | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ph17 | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CruZ | 829 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | draqe | 642 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #3 | PENDRAGON | 592 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #4 | †jNs† | 526 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #5 | ph17 | 504 | 0.12 | 14 min |





