








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 435 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 199 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2338 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2386 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1971 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2429 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,725 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DontKnow | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Charge | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | +w | smu | 54% | 132 |
| #4 | †jNs† | 51% | 37 |
| #5 | ☂ yush | 51% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ☂ yush | 51% | 226 |
| #6 | pza1ko | 50% | 228 |
| #7 | PENDRAGON | 49% | 160 |
| #8 | FiPSy | 38% | 16 |
| #9 | Waschi | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PENDRAGON | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | pza1ko | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | +w | smu | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ☂ yush | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | DontKnow | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂ yush | 1175 | 0.24 | 36 min |
| #2 | PENDRAGON | 652 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | +w | smu | 575 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | pza1ko | 445 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #5 | †jNs† | 110 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FiPSy | +2.57 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | Charge | +2.24 | 61 | 71 |
| #3 | DontKnow | +1.93 | 71 | 34 |
| #4 | PUMP•D•ルフィ | +1.16 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | +w | smu | +0.98 | 81 | 63 |





