








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 747 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8416 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7377 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8202 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7107 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,415,411 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sk | 51% | 139 |
| #2 | FoxSin KuzanOo | 49% | 74 |
| #3 | moww | 48% | 52 |
| #4 | krass?! CanTwo [!?] | 47% | 190 |
| #5 | †jNs† | 47% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | PainFull | 45% | 229 |
| #14 | dead! | 44% | 203 |
| #15 | ph17 | 43% | 171 |
| #16 | Gigelicious | 43% | 80 |
| #17 | spiN | 39% | 112 |





