








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2392 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2107 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2923 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1514 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $664,072 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sycho #23 | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | parow | 70% | 53 |
| #4 | HIland | 67% | 21 |
| #5 | xact | 67% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeRostyle! | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | mIKAELP | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | sycho #23 | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | elwood | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Biri | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mIKAELP | 378 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | ZeRostyle! | 330 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | parow | 164 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Topgunner83 | 122 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Taake | 116 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sycho #23 | +2.73 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | parow | +2.42 | 65 | 69 |
| #3 | mIKAELP | +2.15 | 62 | 73 |
| #4 | xact | +1.70 | 81 | 74 |
| #5 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +1.23 | 72 | 67 |





