








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1575 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 488 matches | ||
| Esplay | 246 matches | 1,900 | |
| Faceit | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 109 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7440 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8464 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 13096 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 8732 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,639,611 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 802 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NO!SIA-dA-DeStRoYeR -Y- | 58% | 59 |
| #2 | Jeph ♛ | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | HACKMAN | 55% | 108 |
| #4 | xact | 54% | 149 |
| #5 | krille | 53% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 52% | 172 |
| #10 | VERAC | 51% | 131 |
| #11 | Hegg3N | 51% | 135 |
| #12 | Biri | 49% | 59 |
| #13 | masmus | 38% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Topgunner83 | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | VERAC | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | HACKMAN | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | elwood | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elwood | 1158 | 0.22 | 28 min |
| #2 | Topgunner83 | 972 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #3 | VERAC | 594 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #4 | xact | 427 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | HACKMAN | 414 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeph ♛ | +2.56 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | NO!SIA-dA-DeStRoYeR -Y- | +2.31 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | HACKMAN | +1.34 | 76 | 74 |
| #4 | xact | +0.86 | 77 | 72 |
| #5 | VERAC | +0.40 | 59 | 70 |





