








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 983 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Esplay | 211 matches | 1,869 | |
| Faceit | 208 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6928 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7999 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7882 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6566 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,055,772 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parow | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | ♛ hiM^ | 63% | 62 |
| #3 | xact | 59% | 177 |
| #4 | Hegg3N | 55% | 146 |
| #5 | stian.K | 52% | 433 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Biri | 50% | 50 |
| #10 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 49% | 182 |
| #11 | elwood | 47% | 247 |
| #12 | Input | 47% | 94 |
| #13 | Jeph ♛ | 46% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hegg3N | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | stian.K | 12 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | elwood | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | xact | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elwood | 1176 | 0.21 | 30 min |
| #2 | stian.K | 686 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #3 | xact | 514 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | Hegg3N | 486 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 399 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parow | +2.68 | 71 | 68 |
| #2 | NO!SIA-dA-DeStRoYeR -Y- | +2.05 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Jeph ♛ | +1.59 | 77 | 61 |
| #4 | ♛ hiM^ | +1.37 | 70 | 76 |
| #5 | xact | +1.00 | 78 | 74 |





