








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 924 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Esplay | 79 matches | 2,041 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5161 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4064 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4935 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3281 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,797,188 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 507 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HIland | 70% | 37 |
| #2 | Topgunner83 | 70% | 40 |
| #3 | ♛ hiM^ | 70% | 53 |
| #4 | running | 69% | 26 |
| #5 | ZeRostyle! | 62% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mIKAELP | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ♛ hiM^ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Taake | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Daniii | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ZeRostyle! | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mIKAELP | 572 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | ZeRostyle! | 221 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | ♛ hiM^ | 180 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | sammy | 159 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Daniii | 145 | 0.24 | 4 min |





