








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 901 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,182 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5093 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4003 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3630 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3456 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $924,223 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1nG. <3 | 52% | 299 |
| #2 | kORNY | 52% | 121 |
| #3 | Shocky* | 51% | 238 |
| #4 | alphawho? | 50% | 255 |
| #5 | froKo (◣ ◢) | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kORNY | 52% | 121 |
| #3 | Shocky* | 51% | 238 |
| #4 | alphawho? | 50% | 255 |
| #5 | froKo (◣ ◢) | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | sparkYY | 45% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1nG. <3 | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | alphawho? | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Shocky* | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | sparkYY | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | kORNY | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1nG. <3 | 1311 | 0.20 | 27 min |
| #2 | sparkYY | 967 | 0.21 | 24 min |
| #3 | Shocky* | 695 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #4 | alphawho? | 550 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | kORNY | 302 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RYU//HYPED | +1.82 | 71 | 76 |
| #2 | froKo (◣ ◢) | +0.72 | 57 | 73 |
| #3 | alphawho? | +0.69 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Shocky* | +0.17 | 54 | 75 |
| #5 | kORNY | -1.01 | 48 | 62 |





