








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 859 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 602 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9829 | 26% |
| Smokes | 11132 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8980 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8220 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,744,904 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kORNY | 55% | 165 |
| #2 | RYU//HYPED | 52% | 299 |
| #3 | Shocky* | 49% | 329 |
| #4 | alphawho? | 48% | 678 |
| #5 | sparkYY | 47% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | alphawho? | 48% | 678 |
| #5 | sparkYY | 47% | 248 |
| #6 | dOwNeY | 46% | 376 |
| #7 | roboc0p | 33% | 58 |
| #8 | contamet | 32% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alphawho? | 27 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | RYU//HYPED | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Shocky* | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | dOwNeY | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | kORNY | 8 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alphawho? | 1372 | 0.10 | 32 min |
| #2 | RYU//HYPED | 1246 | 0.19 | 34 min |
| #3 | sparkYY | 1081 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #4 | Shocky* | 1005 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #5 | dOwNeY | 875 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RYU//HYPED | +1.96 | 71 | 76 |
| #2 | alphawho? | +1.21 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Shocky* | +0.32 | 57 | 74 |
| #4 | dOwNeY | -0.29 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | k1nG. <3 | -1.05 | 44 | 68 |





