








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 922 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 485 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6475 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6731 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7664 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7033 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,845,545 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 563 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kORNY | 56% | 144 |
| #2 | RYU//HYPED | 50% | 255 |
| #3 | Shocky* | 49% | 298 |
| #4 | dOwNeY | 48% | 432 |
| #5 | k1nG. <3 | 48% | 678 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dOwNeY | 48% | 432 |
| #5 | k1nG. <3 | 48% | 678 |
| #6 | sparkYY | 46% | 228 |
| #7 | contamet | 38% | 61 |
| #8 | roboc0p | 37% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1nG. <3 | 26 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Shocky* | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | RYU//HYPED | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | dOwNeY | 9 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | kORNY | 9 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1nG. <3 | 2447 | 0.17 | 57 min |
| #2 | RYU//HYPED | 1040 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #3 | sparkYY | 1011 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #4 | dOwNeY | 949 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #5 | Shocky* | 897 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RYU//HYPED | +1.70 | 70 | 76 |
| #2 | alphawho? | +1.36 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | Shocky* | +0.34 | 55 | 76 |
| #4 | dOwNeY | +0.24 | 56 | 64 |
| #5 | kORNY | -0.84 | 45 | 63 |





