








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1185 | 30% |
| Smokes | 891 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1380 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 497 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,426 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ja1mz | 50% | 66 |
| #2 | Burnie | 44% | 132 |
| #3 | CrUmZ | 43% | 56 |
| #4 | Dr. Mabuse | 41% | 70 |
| #5 | R4ven | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | R4ven | 39% | 28 |
| #6 | Chucky | 37% | 19 |
| #7 | ph1lo*n1 | 36% | 45 |
| #8 | ✪ aLex | 35% | 49 |
| #9 | Ma$e | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burnie | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ph1lo*n1 | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Ma$e | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | CrUmZ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | ✪ aLex | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burnie | 445 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Dr. Mabuse | 240 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | ja1mz | 176 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ aLex | 148 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | ph1lo*n1 | 112 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Mabuse | +0.73 | 59 | 65 |
| #2 | Burnie | +0.73 | 54 | 71 |
| #3 | Chucky | +0.25 | 52 | 66 |
| #4 | ✪ aLex | -0.04 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | ph1lo*n1 | -0.04 | 62 | 66 |





