








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 397 matches | ||
| Renown | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5586 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5012 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5988 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3822 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $990,588 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | konnichiWA | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | stasK | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | FLACHMANN | 53% | 76 |
| #4 | R4ven | 49% | 294 |
| #5 | Doc H1t | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ja1mz | 47% | 180 |
| #9 | Burnie | 45% | 95 |
| #10 | Ma$e | 38% | 55 |
| #11 | Dr. Mabuse | 38% | 58 |
| #12 | akman | 35% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph1lo*n1 | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | R4ven | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ja1mz | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | CrUmZ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Burnie | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph1lo*n1 | 689 | 0.11 | 22 min |
| #2 | ja1mz | 387 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | R4ven | 365 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | Burnie | 321 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #5 | FLACHMANN | 195 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | konnichiWA | +2.62 | 57 | 62 |
| #2 | Burnie | +1.62 | 52 | 73 |
| #3 | ph1lo*n1 | +1.25 | 61 | 69 |
| #4 | ✪ aLex | +0.97 | 68 | 71 |
| #5 | Dr. Mabuse | +0.24 | 57 | 67 |





