








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Renown | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4051 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4133 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3800 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3932 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,036,998 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | konnichiWA | 65% | 60 |
| #2 | stasK | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | ja1mz | 50% | 131 |
| #4 | Burnie | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | R4ven | 47% | 274 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Doc H1t | 46% | 67 |
| #8 | Dr. Mabuse | 46% | 52 |
| #9 | FLACHMANN | 46% | 81 |
| #10 | CrUmZ | 43% | 99 |
| #11 | akman | 36% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ aLex | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | R4ven | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ja1mz | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | CrUmZ | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | FLACHMANN | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ aLex | 804 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #2 | R4ven | 339 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | ja1mz | 293 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Burnie | 264 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | FLACHMANN | 216 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | konnichiWA | +1.79 | 54 | 61 |
| #2 | Burnie | +1.60 | 55 | 74 |
| #3 | ph1lo*n1 | +1.38 | 62 | 68 |
| #4 | Dr. Mabuse | +1.36 | 62 | 67 |
| #5 | ✪ aLex | +0.52 | 68 | 72 |





