








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 431 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4158 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7666 | 37% |
| Smokes | 6549 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3572 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3091 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,247,557 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHEF-KOCH | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | bennetelli | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | ja1mz | 49% | 114 |
| #4 | rocksTaa | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | blizker | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Chucky | 40% | 42 |
| #13 | m1chi | 40% | 40 |
| #14 | MYS. | 40% | 43 |
| #15 | ✪ aLex | 38% | 58 |
| #16 | eRz | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burnie | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | m1chi | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ✪ aLex | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ph1lo*n1 | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | MYS. | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burnie | 1104 | 0.16 | 37 min |
| #2 | ja1mz | 347 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | bennetelli | 177 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✪ aLex | 137 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | ph1lo*n1 | 125 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRz | +3.16 | 76 | 75 |
| #2 | MYS. | +1.05 | 57 | 66 |
| #3 | Bardolino | +0.74 | 57 | 74 |
| #4 | bennetelli | +0.70 | 61 | 87 |
| #5 | Burnie | +0.64 | 56 | 72 |





