








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3349 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4938 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4321 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2074 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,314 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fallout | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Burnie | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | ja1mz | 53% | 150 |
| #4 | stasK | 49% | 82 |
| #5 | ✪ aLex | 48% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ph1lo*n1 | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | ✪ aLex | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | stasK | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ja1mz | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | R4ven | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ aLex | 313 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | ja1mz | 271 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | ph1lo*n1 | 214 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Burnie | 176 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ma$e | 171 | 0.07 | 4 min |





