








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 316 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1533 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1266 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1515 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1407 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $513,204 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zalek | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | chan`cyalan.com | 74% | 23 |
| #3 | Mickss | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | eli LPDQ^ | 70% | 20 |
| #5 | oXiaS4YOU***** | 69% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | ClémenceLEMUR^[lpdq] | 50% | 10 |
| #17 | dem <3 PinkSpider | 50% | 12 |
| #18 | 👶TaR👶 | 47% | 45 |
| #19 | rom | 38% | 13 |
| #20 | OMYA | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 👶TaR👶 | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Garek[lpdq] | 4 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | h4 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | bLd | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROU✘CARNAGE[lpdq] | 208 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | h4 | 140 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kyo* | 135 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | chan`cyalan.com | 135 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #5 | Yaki.C | 129 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | +3.83 | 82 | 76 |
| #2 | zalek | +3.04 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | eli LPDQ^ | +2.39 | 52 | 60 |
| #4 | chan`cyalan.com | +2.03 | 78 | 81 |
| #5 | Yaki.C | +1.86 | 87 | 74 |





