








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,348 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3619 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2147 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3353 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2229 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,290,789 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ♥ GilletteBee | 51% | 150 |
| #8 | ♥ king^^ | 50% | 255 |
| #9 | ♦ Nik™ - iwnl | 48% | 106 |
| #10 | Scooby | 47% | 148 |
| #11 | ♥ BlyatBee | 39% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♦ Nik™ - iwnl | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ♛ Baal.i. | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ♥ king^^ | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ♥ BlyatBee | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ♥ a1rbee | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ a1rbee | 484 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Scooby | 325 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | ♛ Baal.i. | 301 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | ♥ king^^ | 273 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | ♥ GilletteBee | 269 | 0.09 | 5 min |





