








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2676 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2969 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2974 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2008 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $892,093 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 468 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | 59% | 128 |
| #2 | bENNY7 | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | Advoc8 | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | .yp | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | Weenus Lover | 53% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weenus Lover | 413 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Matty | 304 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | .yp | 161 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | Limny ⸸ | 148 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Edw | 132 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matty | +5.28 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | Edw | +2.14 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | bENNY7 | +1.73 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | DeanB=) | +1.04 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | joe_dB | +0.85 | 68 | 68 |





