








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1531 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1708 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2209 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2089 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,571 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nokia | 90% | 21 |
| #2 | キリンドクター | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | SINI♡ | 60% | 55 |
| #4 | walle | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | Baba Yaga | 59% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uzman | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | SINI♡ | 9 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | walle | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Tane | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Baba Yaga | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uzman | 290 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | hajonnutkengäntekijä | 245 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | SINI♡ | 240 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | Baba Yaga | 202 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tane | 161 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nokia | +4.48 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | Tane | +3.94 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | Baba Yaga | +2.64 | 78 | 70 |
| #4 | キリンドクター | +1.99 | 67 | 73 |
| #5 | walle | +0.63 | 77 | 60 |





