








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1073 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1643 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1900 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1690 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $510,996 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nokia | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | walle | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Dr Morbius | 53% | 62 |
| #4 | SINI♡ | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | キリンドクター | 51% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tane | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | SINI♡ | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | キリンドクター | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Nokia | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Baba Yaga | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GAYLORD | 341 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Uzman | 300 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | SINI♡ | 290 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | キリンドクター | 256 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | Baba Yaga | 217 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tane | +3.87 | 87 | 66 |
| #2 | Nokia | +1.86 | 88 | 61 |
| #3 | Baba Yaga | +1.49 | 82 | 67 |
| #4 | キリンドクター | +0.60 | 65 | 73 |
| #5 | walle | +0.55 | 80 | 63 |





