








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2026 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1617 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1486 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1481 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $319,894 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nokia | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | SINI♡ | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | walle | 67% | 45 |
| #4 | hajonnutkengäntekijä | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | キリンドクター | 64% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uzman | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | キリンドクター | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Dr Morbius | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Nokia | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | walle | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uzman | 300 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | GAYLORD | 289 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | キリンドクター | 199 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | Nokia | 125 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | Pate vaa (= | 122 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tane | +3.67 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | Nokia | +2.79 | 89 | 61 |
| #3 | Baba Yaga | +1.73 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | キリンドクター | +0.81 | 69 | 75 |
| #5 | SINI♡ | +0.59 | 76 | 63 |





